… returning from holiday with ALL your kids.

It’s a worry isn’t it — taking the little ones abroad, exposing them not just to unfamiliar food, strange insects and microbes, the heat and the funny water, but also to untrustworthy ‘foreign types’. It’s all very well packing your suitcase so full of anti-diarrhoea pills, antihistimines, bug-repellant, and sunblock that you can only fit in the tiniest of holiday clothes, but how do you prevent some ‘Filthy Continental Pervert’ from stealing one of your little darlings?

Worry no more — I have the solution; and I am willing to share it with you for free, no need to buy my book. It’s really simple. Just keep them with you, where they’re supposed to be. All the time.

But what if you want to go out for an evening meal? This is YOUR holiday after all, you don’t want to be cooking. Or what if your apartment complex is holding an evening of authentic local cuisine, or a barbecue or some other entertainment that you’d like to take part in? Well, just follow these common-sense steps and all will be well:

  • When you go to the restaurant/barbecue/entertainment, if you don’t want to shell out for the hotel babysitting service, or aren’t comfortable with the idea of the stranger looking after your kids potentially rifling through your things, then just  take the children with you.

You never know, they might even enjoy being allowed to stay up past their bedtime (what a novel idea — a treat that doesn’t involve spending hundreds of pounds on a gadget, just some quality time with your family, on your FAMILY holiday).

  • If there is any danger that they will spoil your night with their whining when they get tired and cranky, then, instead of shouting at them to behave, or telling them they are ruining your evening with their behaviour, try taking them on your knee and soothing them for a few minutes.


Even in the warmest countries it can get a little chilly in the evenings, and where hot water bottles are not readily available a warm toddler makes a great substitute. And if you’re worried about looking like a cheapskate, you can always make yourself look better by purchasing a really expensive accessory to do this with.

  • If they get so sleepy that they can barely stick their tongues out to lick an ice-cream, then tuck them up in the buggy or pushchair, or on a comfy seat, with a light cover so they don’t look too untidy.

Now you have the perfect excuse not to get roped in to making a fool of yourself joining in with the dancing, plate smashing, etc. You can sit next to your snoozing children, enjoy your glass of wine in peace, and watch yor partner make a fool of themselves instead. Just don’t forget to gather them up (kids and partner) and take them with you when you head back to your accomodation.

So, there you have it — the “common” sense guide to returning from holiday with ALL your children. Who’d’ve thought it was so simple?