I must confess – I was a Sindy girl. I found it much easier to relate to a doll who looked like she’d just stepped out of the local Women’s Institute, than one who looked like the kind of girl who got found comatose in Hugh Heffner’s mansion.

Back to Barbie – like Dr. Who she has been regenerated many times over  the years: as an astronaut, a surgeon, and a businesswoman, to name but three. 

Bear Grylls Barbie
 
But with each new incarnation, one thing never changes: her appearance. She is always, always a long-legged, wasp-waisted, busty blonde with impossibly atrophied feet (that’s what you get for wearing stilettos in space); because, of course, no woman can expect to be truly successful unless she is good-looking.

Until now.

Mattel have announced that they are extending the Barbie range to include dolls with three new body shapes – curvy, tall, and petite, to reflect reality (she will also come with a range of skin tones and hair colours). 

The “Suing my hairdresser” Barbie

So, Barbie’s ‘getting real’ is she?This raises a few questions:

Will Curvy Barbie get sneered at, or bullied by Original (Smug) Barbie? (Imagine the little girl who unwraps a Curvy Barbie at her birthday party – “Are they saying I’m fat, Mummy?”) 

Will Tall Barbie only come with flat shoes?

Will they charge more for Petite Barbie clothes?

And will they be adding a ‘Fine Figure of a Man’ Ken, complete with beer-belly, a hairy back, and realistic fart sounds, who refuses to date “Who Ate All The Pies’ Barbie, ‘What’s The Weather Like Up There?’ Barbie, or ‘You Could Sit Her On Your Dick And Spin Her Round’ Barbie because they are ‘mingers’?

Barbie and Ken enjoy the perfect sex-life; no clapping fat or pubes between your teeth here.
 

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